Creating your reality

Creating your reality is something you are doing all the time you are awake.  We can create a great reality or a terrible reality, largely based on how we see the world.  Your results show up in the amount of energy you give to the reality you are living and creating.

Isn’t it interesting how we always gravitate towards the worst-case scenario in all our thoughts? We imagine the doom that will happen should we decide on a future scenario based on a negative outcome. Some people see everything as being dangerous, wrong, and pear-shaped and that seems to be what they get as a result.

Have you noticed people who go blindly go through life, ignoring life’s challenges as if there were no risks or potential pitfalls? It’s incredible to watch.  What is their secret?

Before you jump down my throat as a bearer of positive thinking it is important to note that even the most Pollyanna of us have a dark side that belies the chirpy smile.  What you see is not always what goes on in the background.

Many people don’t create the reality they want and live in regret.  But what stops us from really being, doing and having all we want in life?

Fear impacts creating your reality

Fear grounds us so solidly into “normal” that it’s hard even to see what’s sometimes happening. The Covid debacle drove so many into their homes, fearful of what the future would hold, they could scarcely deal with it. Unfortunately, we are still paying the price for all that fear.

So many people I have spoken to, and clients I have seen have told me their issues stemmed back to the lockdown.  It sapped confidence.  “Normal” was replaced by “New Normal” and many of us had to reinvent ourselves.  Creating your reality was truly impossible at that time, although for some it became an opportunity and they flourished. Perspective plays a huge part in creating your reality, more than reality itself.

Worry about other people’s opinions

Social Media has been a flurry of “opinions” with many indignant, calling on Governments to make sure policies, behave a certain way, or create opportunities. We watch the news, keeping abreast of wars, political lies on all sides and violence towards ordinary people. The ‘bad news keeps coming like a steady stream of black molasses for our brains. And it builds up that underlying fear even more. (Hint stop watching).

We worry about how we look on social media. We are concerned about looking the right way, having the right talking points, being enough, doing enough, and so much more. And our fear gets even more profound.  This didn’t exist before the internet to the same degree.  I miss those days.

The need for Self Protection

When we are afraid, some of us will come out swinging and blame every other person we can find for the situation, while others will stop and wait for someone to fix it.  There are others who go into that beautiful soothing space of denial. (Hello Pollyanna).  Which group is right?

There is a space between those choices that might help all of us, individually and collectively, to develop power within us. It’s called decisive action.  Creating your reality is about taking responsibility for your own outcomes regardless of the situation.

Creating your reality with a winning strategy

Decisive action is understanding you have more than one choice about how you feel, regardless of current evidence. Sure, things can be bad right now, but imagine if you could write a list of things that would pull you forward in the direction you want to be, and then put a plan together to act on those things.

Imagine how being curious and looking for a new perspective could change you internally, help you become a creative problem solver and create the reality you want.

Maybe you can’t change what is happening now, but if you change your focus from all the disasters and bad things, you can begin to think about what you can do instead of being lost in what you can’t do.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself that help in creating your reality.

What can I learn, and where can I learn it?

I am a great lover of learning. I’m never far away from Youtube, podcasts, audiobooks and books. Audiobooks are amazing because it is an automobile university. Knowledge is free and constant if you want it.

 What are my strengths, and how can I use them?

This may be hard if you have been stuck in a corner berating yourself for years. Even if you haven’t worked in a while, you have skills that will help your career. You have strengths in relationships, crafts, and supporting your friends. They are called transferable skills.

I can bet if you can’t see your strengths, your friends can. Get them together and discuss each other’s strengths. Know what you can be counted on for and be a bit proud of your unique talents. While doing this, resist the urge to downgrade or be over humble. Keeping yourself small helps no one, including you. Be proud of even the tiniest strengths and grow that confidence muscle.

What would I do if no one told me I couldn’t do something?

I have had many conversations with people over my lifetime who have a negative response to every positive I have suggested.If someone’s motor is stuck on negative, I should listen silently because I cannot help you.

I once mentored a class of students, all 14 years of age. They were convinced they couldn’t create a business because they were only 14.

I began with that question, “if no one told you that you couldn’t do something, what would you do?” Guess what? They built a whole business from the ground up and came second in the state start-up competitions because they gave themselves permission to go out and create! What could you do?


 Regardless of current reality, what life do I desire?

Imagine if you could release all attachments to the outcome and create the life you desire because it was fun to develop.

  • Who would you have in this world?
  • Who wouldn’t you have?
  • What would you be doing”?
  • How would it feel in this new place?
  • What would you have overcome to get here
  • What do you know in your new life that you didn’t know before?

Spend some time dreaming, write it down and allow yourself to get lost in the dream. It has an impact on your brain’s neurons and begins to help you look for clues forward.

 What is stopping me from trying something new?

When considering this question, think about the first thing that popped into your head. Did you immediately blame someone else or some situation outside of yourself? Why did you do that?

What if you could choose to be in the driver’s seat? Then what is stopping you? Being Creative is a beautiful way of beginning to work towards the future you want. It’s baby steps, but you are more likely to take the steps if you do the above.

When I have asked these questions, and I have many times, something seems to change. I walk a little taller, think a little broader, and take a different action because I feel so empowered!

I would love to hear your feedback, so head over to my Facebook group and join the conversation